Beauty for Ashes...

Isaiah 61:3

"To all who mourn in Israel,

he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, 

a joyous blessing instead of mourning, 

festive praise instead of despair. 

In their righteousness, 

they will be like great oaks 

that the Lord has planted for his own glory."

On April 9, 2012 we lost our two precious babies

There are some events in our lives that leave us without words

And when the words finally come it feels as though they are unspeakable

Too fragile, too sacred, simply too much 

It has taken me months to put words to what my heart has been feeling 

Months for our world to stop spinning and for my feet to be still 

But words are important in times like these

Because words have life and life gives hope


Like so many that have gone before us
Miscarriage has now become a part of our family vocabulary
The ultrasound quickly confirmed our deepest fear
The place that once held so much life was now quiet 
Their small hearts had stopped beating and in many ways so had ours 


It has been family and dear friends that have carried us through 
Shared tears have included the blessing of acknowledgement
That these lives, though small, were real and worth being remembered
Just as we celebrated their beginning we will grieve their end together


In times like these many may question how we can trust God
We trust a God who is close to the brokenhearted - Psalm 34:18
We trust a God who has wept tears of his own - John 11:35
We trust a God who has overcome death - John 16:33
We trust a God who is our everlasting hope - Micah 7:7
We find refuge that the same God that knit our children together
Now forevers holds them in His arms...


Every good story has a beginning, middle, and an end
Though this story seemingly ended much too soon 
We are thankful that these words are forever written on our hearts
Now we look to a God of hope to continue weaving His narrative in our lives


We will always remember our precious little ones by name...
Charlotte Lydia Heiser 
Gabriel Lee Heiser


"Let the little children come to me, 
and do not hinder them, 
for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Matthew 19:14

Easter Sunday...

Easter Sunday...

Kevin and Mom

Mom and I 

Our Little Family...

Limes...

11 Weeks...

11 Weeks

This week our babies are the size of limes!

I must admit that as they grow the magnitude of TWO continues to set in

I have been feeling more and more like myself and it has been a welcome change

My appetite was in full force and I couldn't seem to get enough food 

Jeremiah and I were able to head out to Billings for an overnight with his parents 

We had a great time celebrating my 28th birthday and Nancy's birthday as well

The time was filled with relaxation, fun shopping, and tons of great food 

We were thankful for time to get away with family and each other 

Our Little Limes

"Lord, thank you for your presence of peace this week in our lives and hearts"

Green Olives...

So here is what we are learning so far as new parents
We are in control of nothing
And these tiny little creatures can easily foil any plans we have in life
Of course our new plans are even better than we could have asked for


Today we visited our new doctor and absolutely loved her
I found her easy to talk with, excited about our twins, and really took her time with us
We both left with a sense of peace and even greater joy regarding this process
We are thanking the Lord continually for the beauty that is becoming our family


We were able to learn some really great things about the twins this week
The twins are Dichorionic-Diamniotic according to the doctor
This means two placentas and two amniotic sacs have been formed
All fraternal twins start this way but also at least 1/3 of identical twins do as well
At our 20 week appointment we will find out the gender
This could help us further determine fraternal or identical 
As identical twins are 99% always the same sex
However even then the best way of knowing will be DNA testing after they are born 


According to our doctor Dichorionic-Diamniotic is the best way for twins to grow 
It poses the least risks for the babies as well as for myself
Chances are very good that I will be able to carry the babies to full term 
This is great news now but I am sure that will make for a very uncomfortable October :)


After measuring the babies and myself more our due date has also changed
We are now due on October 23rd...a week later than what we had anticipated
So according to the doctor I am 9 weeks along in my pregnancy instead of 10
The impatient part of me was hoping I would be further than expected 
But still thankful that they are growing...the size of two green olives to be exact!
Our next ultrasound and doctor's appointment will be in 4 weeks 
It was a great day and we left with so much to be excited for 


"Lord, thank you for the peace you gave me this week...you are our ultimate Creator"

Prunes...

10 Weeks...

10 Weeks

This week our babies have grown to the size of two prunes

Prunes are not exactly the cutest fruit but we are thankful for their growth 

The news of twins is still settling in and we are getting more and more excited

Our next doctor's appointment will be this week

I am looking forward to asking questions and finding out more about our twins

This week we had to break down and contact the OnCall Doctor for questions

After several days of extreme and violent vomiting I found myself dizzy and in pain 

Thankfully the doctor offered some relief in the form of a mild medication 

At this point, with twins, our biggest danger is malnutrition for the babies and myself

The medication helped me keep food down and feel more like my old self 

We are thankful for the care we are under in order to keep our babies healthy

"Father, continue to grow and shape our children in Your image"

TWINS...

  9 weeks:

9 Weeks

The big news this week is that we are having TWINS!!!

I must admit that this changes everything, as you can imagine

I have no idea what is going on inside my body and have many many questions 

This week will be spent researching and reading new information about multiples

We have enjoyed sharing the news with family and friends

And the reactions have been priceless!

Though still very very sick this week, I must admit the adrenaline has helped me 

From the looks of things this tiny blog and our little family are going to change fast...                          

Two times the laughs...

And two times the love!

A Double Blessing...

I had been looking forward to this day for weeks

The day that we would be able to hear our little one's heart beat

I was aware of changes going on inside me

And yet I knew hearing the heartbeat would make it even more real 

It was a reminder that we had been blessed with life

And this little life was growing

Jeremiah and I headed to the office and in for our ultrasound

Today we were visiting JoAnne Robbins, a midwife at the hospital 

She delivered one of our dear friend's baby and came highly recommended

Part of determining our best birth plan was visiting JoAnne as well as the birth center

As we sat there I was relieved to hear a strong steady heartbeat

The ultrasound tech let us know "Yup, one strong heartbeat"

Jokingly I said, "At least it is only one!"

Little did I know what was about to happen...

In that moment the tech paused and began to look even closer at the screen 

"Wait just a minute..." she said

I felt my heart drop out of fear that something was wrong with the baby

They began to look even closer at our baby and revealed...

It was not only one baby but TWO babies....TWINS

Jeremiah and I looked at each other in disbelief and promptly began to cry

I have never been so excited and terrified all in one moment

The ultrasound showed two beautiful and healthy babies 

Each baby had a strong and steady heartbeat 

We could even see them flicker on the screen

In an instance our entire lives changed...isn't that just like children?

Heiser TWINS

The entire office celebrated the big news with us from the receptionist to the nurses 

My head was reeling but things started to make sense now

I had been so terribly sick and tired since I found out I was pregnant

"Double" symptoms are characteristic of twins and would explain my symptoms

We were immediately referred out of a midwifes care and on to a high risk doctor

This will be one of the first of many changes we experience in our "plan" for baby

The doctor referred to this as "spontaneous twins"

There is no relevant family history or use of medical treatments to warrant the twins

We are simply calling it a "miracle"

We are in shock

We are in awe

And we are falling doubly in love with our growing family...

"Lord, your ways are higher than our ways and we trust you with this new joy"